Reflection

It’s hard not to think of you. I know that by now, I should’ve already gotten over you, but, although my mind has this strange way of making things easy, on real life, those things are not that easy.
Things can get really weird some times. It might just be me getting crazy and all that, but, most of the times, I actually think I’m seeing you right by my side, when, obviously, you’re nowhere near me. You’re miles away from me, living your life, and a happy one I guess. Because if you weren’t happy there, where you’re at, you would’ve come back to your hometown, to your family, to your friends, to your hold life, and a good life you had I must say, and of course, you would’ve come back to me.
There are so many things that I had to quit because I couldn’t stand to just do them without you. For many weeks I wasn’t even able to smile, and, to me, laugh, and give a mere reflection of a true smile, took me months, because I knew that I had lost you forever. It still pains me, to know that I’m not the one for you, that I wasn’t strong enough to grow up, strong enough to grow to be women that you needed me to be, strong enough to fight against everyone who stood between us, I wasn’t even strong enough to hold you in my arms long enough for you to know how important you were to me, how important you still are.
Writing this text is hard for me, because it reminds me that I’m still here, kind of waiting for you, alone, with no guiding line but the one that I drew by myself and that it’s so twisted and turned, and that you are there, probably with her. She’s the lucky one; she has a great guy, the type of boy that would do anything for his girl. The type of guy that, a long time ago, use to belong to me.